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Grandparent Support

Grandparents grieve twice — once for a grandchild's diagnosis, and once for the pain they see their own child going through. They often feel helpless, unsure how to help, and afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Practical Ways to Help

  • Learn about the condition — read the Just Diagnosed guide alongside the parents.
  • Offer specific help: "I'm coming Tuesday from 2–6 to watch the kids so you can rest" is better than "Let me know if you need anything."
  • Learn the medical routines — medications, feeding, seizure protocols, transfer techniques. Become a safe backup caregiver.
  • Attend a therapy session or doctor's appointment to learn what therapists are working on.
  • Babysit the siblings. They need grandparent time that isn't overshadowed by medical appointments.

Emotional Guidance

  • For birth diagnoses, say "congratulations" first. Always.
  • Don't say "I'm sorry" — say "I'm here."
  • Don't say "it could be worse" or "God's plan" — say "this is hard and I love you."
  • Follow the parents' lead on language, therapy choices, and medical decisions — even when there's disagreement.
  • Don't search online and send articles at 3am — the parents are already overwhelmed with information.
  • Ask how the PARENTS are doing — not just about the grandchild.

Financial Contributions

  • Contribute to the RDSP — grandparents can contribute to a grandchild's RDSP, and the government matches up to $3,500/year.
  • Help fund equipment or therapy costs not covered by provincial programs.
  • Pay for respite — even informally. Hiring a babysitter counts.
  • Contribute to a Henson Trust for long-term financial security.

Resources

21 Welcomes (CDSS)

Has a section specifically for grandparents and extended family

"Grandparenting a Child with Special Needs"

Book by Charlotte Thompson — comprehensive guide for grandparents

"The NeverEnding Story: The Grandparent's Guide"

By Down Syndrome Innovations — specific to Down syndrome but broadly applicable

More Family Support

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